I can't say that I live in the best part of San Diego. The place where I'm at has remote controlled gates at all entrances, and we're a mishmash of condos and apartments, so there's a lot of people coming in and out of here, though for the most part, I've had almost entirely pleasant run-ins with my neighbors. That wouldn't be a 100% success rate, and though it's close, that 1% of unsuccessful run-ins would almost entirely have to do with the time that I while I was walking out to my car and saw some fresh graffiti on a wall, which unsurprisingly matched the graffiti on my car. I was able to get it off pretty quick, but still, that notion that someone was so willing to vandalize and/or damage my property stuck in my head for a while.
Last week as I was driving out of our parking lot, I noticed this lifted, fullsize Ford pickup that just happened to have four flat tires. After thinking about it for a moment, I figured that there was really only one possible way that all four tires (large and durable as they were) could possibly go flat at once, and that's if someone else took it upon themselves to free the trapped air in those tires. And seriously, how quick a job is that? ...stab, stab, stab, stab... walk away. And I thought, what if it happened to me? I'd probably be pretty much out of my mind angry knowing that 1) someone felt free to do such a thing, and 2) now I have to pay for it.
Yesterday, I found out that my grandma's alzheimer's has finally gone from bad to worse, and that her doctors are recommending that she be moved to hospice for the final months of her life, which could be up to six, but they don't really know. The news hit me hard, harder than I was expecting. I've never really been moved by the notion of death, I'm sure in part because it's been so distant from me for so many years. And just as I've been hoping to get reconnected with my grandma, since she IS the best Nykanen I know, thinking that she might not actually be around forever as so I just assumed keeps reopening the same hole inside that I let distraction and life keep recovering.
So last night, I drive into my parking lot and see that same not-so-lifted truck still sitting on pancake tires, and realize that if that happened to me now, it would be a trivial matter. So what if my tires go flat? So what if my computer might crash and I lose thousands of songs I've collected over the years? So what if I lose my job? I have family. I have a girlfriend that loves me. I have friends that love me too. I know that I have people around me who are willing to invest their time, energy, and resources into me because they want to. And I have the attention of Almighty God who allows me to mess up the gifts that He gives me only to bless me all the more when I come back see Him again.
I wish I didn't have to learn about trivial needs and reactions this way, but this fantastic 84 year old woman who is my grandma will have earned her rest once she gets to that point. I love her, and sarcasm is never funnier than when she deals it out.