Musicals, huh?

As I was sitting in my room typing a paper, my roommate and his girlfriend were watching the movie/musical Newsies. As I was listening to the movie and her singing through my wall, I couldn't help but come to an interesting conclusion: I have no interest in ever seeing that movie. Outside of potentially sitting and watching the movie with others where it's the best option I have at the time, I will probably not see that movie ever.

That epiphany made me curious why I would avoid a movie so passionately, because I know I have the capacity to enjoy the occasional musical now and then. So I shared this little dilemma with the company in the house, and with her experience in theatre, she helped me narrow down the factors that seem to be influencing me. She asked my opinion on different musicals and plays I may have seen, and it turns out dark comedies are my entertainment of choice. For example, I'm watching Sweeney Todd right now and I'll catch myself singing along with it or gritting my teeth. But the thought of sitting down to watch Newsies or High School Musical or any other performance that makes everything poppy and upbeat and ridiculously manic makes me anxious inside.

So it seems I appreciate emotion. When performances lack any real representation of what people really feel, it makes me anxious.

Why do I admit all this? I dunno. I just really wanted to say how much I don't want to see that movie. Not to say that it isn't a quality production, which I'm sure it is. I felt like being blatant and a little abrasive for a bit. Goodnight.

Afterthought: I realized that my preference in musicals resembles my preference in people. Not that I necessarily enjoy hanging out with murderous antiheroes (though to be honest, I don't really know that many), but I appreciate people who show true emotions and don't just put on a smiley face and plays happy. So that's my tie-in. Wham-o.

Note to self

Don't try and study your class readings in your truck under those yellow parking lot lamps. Apparently any and all highlighted and therefore important facts are made unnoticeable.
Because they're yellow.
And so is the lighting.
So annoying.

I love food

Food does wonderful things for me. Admittedly, I wasn't doing so great yesterday. And by yesterday, I mean from the beginning of yesterday starting around midnight since I opted to skip sleep in favor of getting a paper done. So no sleep makes me a little cranky.

Class was at 4, and I finish around two. My mood went from 2 out of 10 up to a 5 just because I was finishing and I got to do a little biblical reflection in the paper too. I get to school, check my mailbox, and find a paper that I surprisingly got an A on that doesn't seem to happen in that class. Mood: 8 out of 10. But then, when things couldn't get any better, a buddy of mine in class was having a birthday the next day, so his wife brought in cake and cookies for class that night.

Mood: 10.5 out of 10

I was so very happy with my life at that point. And obviously, cookies didn't fix my mood from junk to jubilant, but I definitely ad a great night after that. Same thing with today. I hadn't eaten, went to the gym, needed to do some laundry, and was just gonna eat whatever I could find in the fridge. But then I saw some forgotten raviolis. Chicken and roasted garlic to be specific. I boiled those up, pulled out some sauce I had made last week, and shredded some parmesan cheese over it. Lovely. Throw in some lemonade I mixed with some grapefruit juice, and it was a great little lunch.

It wasn't just eating it that gave me the happy feelings (though it helped), but preparation of something I know is gonna be great was satisfying too. It was almost like creating artwork, except I eat the canvas in the end.

All that to say, I'm feeling well today. Content, happy, um ... full. I am blessed with a break from stress, and perhaps a new opportunity to do things right.

I can't think right now.

I don't think I want to either.
Which is why this entry ends now.

Perspective and presentation

I've always been hesitant to start consistently posting blogs because I've always seen these sites as either chances to keep simple updates on life for those who probably know about most of it anyway, or a place to constantly vent personal issues to a public forum, and whatever one's motivations are for needing that kind of attention can be questionable too. And that's me: questioning motives.

And yet, a dilemma is brought to light: what motivation do I have that would make me want to put my personal happenings in text for anyone who can find me? Well, basically, whatever I choose to show you is not what you're going to see.

Confused yet?

As I go on to talk about my reactions to issues and difficulties I'm having with the political arena and the way my dishwasher cleans my plates, the way I choose to present my thoughts will be skewed by my perception, which in turn will be misread by your perception, which means at any moment and time, what you're going to be reading is potentially not at all what I wrote.

So whether I'm talking about how I almost passed out in class last night or am really venting about some major stuff, this is safe. Mostly. The vagueness that potentially makes this safe also opens the door to misinterpretation too. But at that point, big deal.

It's just the internet. What's really true on here anyway?